True story: I no longer have a lot of friends. I am on the same page with my family and it seems like my siblings are my only friends. Other than them, I don’t like anyone else.
I used to have a large circle of friends and was capable of making new friends very easily. I wasn’t shy, rather self-confident and extremely sociable.
More importantly, I believed that these people would stay with me forever. They were more than friends to me, pretty much like non-blood relatives.
However, as time passed by, things notably changed. Each and every one of them left and left me broken to pieces.
That’s the thing about people: they always walk away. As unpleasant and miserable as this sounds, the truth is that everyone can relate to it.
The bottom line is that the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends. In fact, you come to realize that you hate everyone. What’s more, this is OK!
As you get older, the desire to please wrong people vanishes
Why we end up with so many wrong people as our friends (at least we want to think them that way) is our desire to be the part of the ‘hot and happening’ lot, our desire to be popular. Most of us do wrong and destructive things to impress people in our bid to be friends with everyone. During the phase, we can’t even get the alarming signals that scream we are being used by toxic people.
But with age we gain maturity and develop eyes that show us the real picture. It does not feel good to please anyone by doing harmful and humiliating things for someone else’s pleasure or fun.
I simply don’t want to put up with people who have no desire to make our friendship long-lasting. If someone just wants to play foul and derive fun from it, they are most welcome to leave because I will no longer bear with their filthy behavior.
Because the older you get, the less you care about making new friends.
Once you’ve graduated from school, your social life undergoes a pretty drastic and sudden transformation. Where you once spent every weekday with dozens, even hundreds of people you’ve grown to know well, your opportunities for actually making new friendships become far rarer. You might meet people at work or (if you’re the type of person who seeks these out) a club for people with mutual interests like books, knitting, or Scrabble.
But generally, it’s hard to make new friends in adulthood, and the friendships you once thought would last a lifetime can easily die out as people relocate for work and gain new family commitments.
Nevertheless, you adapt. You get used to spending more time with family and less time with friends. You start to look forward to monthly phone calls with your best friend rather than weekly dinner outings. And that’s okay. Because your life is full too.
Because the older you get, the less you trust fake people.
At this point, you have learned that people are the worst! When you are young, you believe that everyone is a good person and you trust them with all of your heart.
However, as time passes by you become aware of the truth and you realize that people are self-serving and no one genuinely cares about you. Such painful experiences are great eye-openers, as they only make you stronger!
Because the older you get, the less you choose to put anyone before yourself.
When you stop caring about other people and start loving yourself, that’s when things really change for the better. A switch flips somewhere along the road between early adulthood and real adulthood.
You stop doing things to please other people and start doing things to please yourself. A lot of friendships will get trashed by this simple fact alone. Once you stop letting people treat you like garbage, most people don’t see a use for you anymore.
The older you get, the less you stop looking for a ride-or-die friend. Instead, you start improving yourself.
Interestingly, many friendships have ended for this particular reason. Once you let them treat you like an idiot, they leave. You will never leave you. Love YOURSELF.
Sources: superhv.com, elitedaily.com, themindsjournal.com, healthy-holistic-living.com